Im back. (front line fighting)

Hello family in Christ. Today God woke me up, shook me up, and showed me that its time to stop pretending, im not in his army. Ill be honest, iv'e been severely pissed off this week, at what i couldent say, it was collective frustration, and anger that i couldent place and then all at once today i got it. I matter. its that simple. for too long now though ive been serving God but ive been doing it from a desk job so to speak. but now im awake, to the point i cant sleep and God has shown me that its time i stopped letting me friends take the hits, and joined the front line. I have been deceiving myself into believing that as long as im okay, everyone else will be too, but thats bull crap. i cant express how sorry i am, how i feel like ive been letting God and everyone else down for the last couple of months, but i have no more time to pitty myself. This week ive realized why i cant sleep good at night, why everything seems wrong with my friends, why so much seems to be slipping away. its quite simple. were under attack, not just that but sadly alot of ground has been taken. ive been getting seperated fromm my friends, and im watching my friends fall and not knowing what to do. i see now with better clarity that need not adress the phisical and social aspects of disunity- it simply comes strait from hell and im tired of it. ive underestimated the effect God can have through his people for too long. Im sick, tired, hurting and torn from seeing the enemy slowly, like a poison, drug us and cause us to become more and more diveded, im not talking about any 2 groups this time im talking about the whole thing from the begining of time. first he divides us through religion, then denomination, then race, age, view, experiance, levels of commitment and such, its been going on for all time down to this day, i see it happening all the way down to the last person. Divided we fall, thats a fact and i think its the head of the enemies campaign. Im taking back ground starting today, i refuse to see my friends be put to sleep like sickly dogs slowly, with little pain it would seem, but just all the more fatal.
A sleeping soldies dosent fight back, satan knows this, so go ahead to a brake, its all very overwelming isnt it? thats what satan had me believing, that i was in over my head.... HELLO!!!
It's not my head that its on, its Gods, i of myself, am ordinary, i can do nothing but through Christ i have power over all manner of demons and dark agents, we wield far too large a gun to have a desk job, that suckers for the front line. Ready!?!? fire!