God

I want to seek the unskewed, perfect God. The God who brakes away all our ideals, who gets past all our theology, our politics, and our culture, The God who is not in any way bound by my methods of seeking him. I serve the God who is more.
The simple truth.
God is love.
God is good.
God is enough.
He dosent need us trying to make him more.
We just need to let go of our devices that we have relied on for so long, that we are anchored by.
Maybe they helped us weather a storm or two but now it is time to set sail once again and follow Jesus. Amen

God has set an alarm clock for such a time as this and now its ringing. :)

I live to let you shine- "boats and birds" - Gregory and the hawk

Hello all, today was cool, God is good, i have peace, i am losing my ideals, and its good.
God in his grace chose to reach me through many of my ideals, however, now its time to burn the old plans and start blank, being still knowng he is God. I just want to live with him shining through me, and i cant do that if i have all these methods and ideals that act as mirrors, distorting the light.
God is God, we are not, Thank goodness... the end
Peace love and Jesus, yall, amen.

Yah.... epic fail

Anyways, failed at daily blog thing. Dont know what happened there, k maybe i do, but oh well just got to role with the punches. Anyway God is still God and he blesses faithfulness. And i dont think he really always "punishes" unfaithfulness but definetly life is better living in obediance. ..... Instant obediance....... still working on that. ....... yah. Well stuff is good... some is not several kinks in the way im trying to let God fix me but thats just how it is.

Thats basically it much love, gunna try to continue blogging much prayer... adios.

Among the faithful

This is day three in a row for blogging, this time i happened to be reminded by Drew :)
Any way today was amazing for tons of people i know and God rocks!
Basically God like stripped me of everything so i guess it just depends on if i will be faithful or not in the things he wants me to do. I think i have been following God and doing all the uncomfortable things i know i need to do and i am full of courage because of God who has removed my fear.
Well its late and as a closing thought, i want to be committed to God and be one who he can truly count as among the faithful.Amen.

Prayers for energy, more courage, follow through, wisdom, and friends. night :)

day 2 of blogging

Im trying to continue blogging every day, and seeing as how i just got my reminder text from Brendon ill go ahead and check in. Today i finally crashed after going like non stop ever since RTU
between school, and the many things ive been having to change, it has been very tiring. But its just my body, my spirit get its rest in God and so i am satisfied. By the way by crashed i mean i slept in and didnt go to school for the first time this year. So anyway i stayed home, had God time, got rest, painted my shoes, listened to music with my sister who happened to be sick and stayed home from school. Well anyway, i am now phisically and spiritually renewed and ready to take on tomorow.
Well now ive got to get back to my homework, have a good day.

"with no real friends, if you fall at least you wont hurt anyone when you land, but if you do have friends and you fall at least maybe someone will be able to catch you"

Trying to get in habit of blogging

Hello, with the help of Brenden i am trying to get in the habit of blogging regularly. This is part of well a big move in my life. I am getting rid of bad habbits and trying to form new good ones.
More importantly i believe im doing what God wants. recentley i got a brand new motive for following God. I realized how much my friends mean to me and that it is my responsabillity to live out the life God wants for me in order to help guide my friends, guide others, and strengthen my walk with God. I understand now that loving God and loving people is one in the same, it starts with God but then in becomes one. I think this is why Jesus said whatever you do to the least of these you do to me. Also i think that is why Jesus said that the most important law is to love the lord your God with all your heart but then went on to say that it is equally important to love your neighbor, its cause they go hand in hand.
Anyway thier is alot of changes going on in my life, and in the life of my friends at school.
We are all learning to be honest and open with one another and its hard... really hard at first but it its worth it. For me this means going through my past and present and righting the wrongs that i have done. The hardest thing was admitting i had wrongs to right. Its hard but amazing, its the most uncomfortable thing of my life, but i have been comfortable with doing nothing for far too long. Me and my friends have made a huge amount of progress in just 2 weeks, but that just means we need prayer now more then ever, cause we are and will be further attacked for pursueing rightousness. on that note i would like to say that im not just good with being "cool" with people i have disconnected with anymore. i would like very much to put forth the efort to reconnect with alot of people probly more specifically the hop kids, not only do i desire this but i feel so does God and also the more i follow God and take on the things he wants me to the more strength i need to do so. For instance i am actually taking care of problems in me and my friends on a daily basis by the grace of God, (like literally a specific problem or two a day, its crazy awsome) and God has shown me where to start with lots of issues, however there are two issues that i cant seem to pinpoint where to start with, and think this is cause God wants me to go to the the the hop kids and Robyn for help in these two areas, and i think other then just taking care of the problem God wants to use this to reastablish connection. First issue is that i dont know exactly where to start reastablishing connections, so i think ill start by admitting that and that that probly shows that there is a problem. The second this is something pretty much the whole hop group tried to help me with and here goes.... its some unhealthy interaction i have with girls, when it was pressented to me i basically justified myself and never dealt with it, and well now it has been brougth to my attention by another party, and well i am sorry.... extremally sorry..... i am sorry that i strike out or avoid that which wishes to help me, and i humble myself now because my friends and the lost around me cant afford for me to not live in the fullness of God
once again, i take full account for pretty much everything negative that has gone on between me and any of the hop kids there is probly alot of things i would like to talk about, but im ready oto be honest, im ready to be open, my feet are firm on the rock of my salvation, im not going anyware, im not going to run this time, on that same note im also prepared to voice some concerns that i have had that, though not a good excuse caused me do distance myslef.
I believe the fastest most effective way to accomplish the things of God is to be open, relie on God, and well rely on God for strength, strength to be voulnerable, and strength to trust. It's not easy at first, but nothing good is. Amen. Selah.

At the rate i have been doing things and the rate at which my friends are growing as well i think that these things will be taken care of soon.
Much prayer please, cause well its good and i think someone must have been praying for me cause this change that started 2 week ago was completely unprompted by me.

GO GOD!

I killed Shrouden Jay Darkley

Basically i cut off a very bad part of myself thats been growing in me for 5 years and its kinda like this........-----------> Im sure you will recognize.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pc1KUyDHQI



Lyrics-

Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum

What's wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this?
I'm going crazy now

No more gas in the rig
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said
Can't even speak about it
I'm a light on my head
Don't want to think about it
Feels like I'm going insane
Yeah

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort

Put on your green lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum

Faded pictures on the wall
It's like they talkin' to me
Disconnectin' phone calls
The phone don't even ring
I gotta get out
Or figure this **** out
It's too close for comfort

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
I feel like a monster

Put on your green lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum

Release me from this curse
I'm trying to remain tame
But I'm struggling
You can't go, go, go
I think I'm going to oh, oh, oh

Put on your green lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum

Im back. (front line fighting)

Hello family in Christ. Today God woke me up, shook me up, and showed me that its time to stop pretending, im not in his army. Ill be honest, iv'e been severely pissed off this week, at what i couldent say, it was collective frustration, and anger that i couldent place and then all at once today i got it. I matter. its that simple. for too long now though ive been serving God but ive been doing it from a desk job so to speak. but now im awake, to the point i cant sleep and God has shown me that its time i stopped letting me friends take the hits, and joined the front line. I have been deceiving myself into believing that as long as im okay, everyone else will be too, but thats bull crap. i cant express how sorry i am, how i feel like ive been letting God and everyone else down for the last couple of months, but i have no more time to pitty myself. This week ive realized why i cant sleep good at night, why everything seems wrong with my friends, why so much seems to be slipping away. its quite simple. were under attack, not just that but sadly alot of ground has been taken. ive been getting seperated fromm my friends, and im watching my friends fall and not knowing what to do. i see now with better clarity that need not adress the phisical and social aspects of disunity- it simply comes strait from hell and im tired of it. ive underestimated the effect God can have through his people for too long. Im sick, tired, hurting and torn from seeing the enemy slowly, like a poison, drug us and cause us to become more and more diveded, im not talking about any 2 groups this time im talking about the whole thing from the begining of time. first he divides us through religion, then denomination, then race, age, view, experiance, levels of commitment and such, its been going on for all time down to this day, i see it happening all the way down to the last person. Divided we fall, thats a fact and i think its the head of the enemies campaign. Im taking back ground starting today, i refuse to see my friends be put to sleep like sickly dogs slowly, with little pain it would seem, but just all the more fatal.
A sleeping soldies dosent fight back, satan knows this, so go ahead to a brake, its all very overwelming isnt it? thats what satan had me believing, that i was in over my head.... HELLO!!!
It's not my head that its on, its Gods, i of myself, am ordinary, i can do nothing but through Christ i have power over all manner of demons and dark agents, we wield far too large a gun to have a desk job, that suckers for the front line. Ready!?!? fire!